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Real Leaders are Real Models
by Carly Anderson, MCC
Have you ever looked up to someone and thought you’d like to be just like them in some way? Have you ever thought that someone may consider you a role model? Funny thing is, you may not even be aware that someone views your attitudes or behaviors as role model material.
When people sign-up for the complimentary eBook on 100 Inspiring Questions from my website, they can submit their answer to the following; “ What is the most important question you have about creating more success, on your terms?”
I recently received this question; “How do I portray an image of the leader and visionary to inspire my team, when I’m still learning, discovering and making mistakes?”
What a wonderful question! If you don’t think of yourself as a leader and visionary of a team, then replace those words with being a parent who wants to set a good example for his or her kids, or building a business and wanting to portray an air of success.
Let’s come back to being a Leader. Howard Gardner (from Leading Minds: An Anatomy of Leadership) defines a leader as ‘an individual who significantly affects the thoughts, feelings, and/or behaviors of a significant number of individuals.” This is a clear and simple definition defining the ‘what’ of leadership, and I see the parallels to defining what a role model is. Taking the same definition with a slight refinement, a role model is ‘an individual who significantly affects the thoughts, feelings and/or behaviors of one or more individuals.’
To be a leader is to be a role model, and to be a role model is to be a leader.
Going Beyond the Image
When we want to portray an image, we’re usually wanting to prove to people that we’re different to how they might otherwise view us. We may think we’re convincing, yet most people can tell when we’re attempting to manipulate their perception of us. We may not always be able to pinpoint what isn’t right, but we may get a feeling that the person is not saying something, or not quite being truthful.
Salespeople offer an easy case study. You can usually tell when someone is attempting to convince you to buy their product or just going through the motions of selling to you, versus a salesperson who truly loves and believes in their product. The Convincer sees you as a potential sale and dollars in their pocket, while the True Believer relates to you as a real person and puts themselves in the shoes of their potential customer. I’m sure you can think of an example of each and know which person you are most likely to recommend to your friends and colleagues.
Leaders (and Adults) are Learners Too
As a Master Certified Coach, I’ve coached people for over 3000 hours on the most common issues in the business or organizational environment. When I listen to my clients, I hear their greatness as well as their fears and hopes. I encourage them to be truthful to themselves, and in turn they can be more real and genuine with their team, their peers, their customers and potential clients. They give themselves permission to be learners, and most find their passion for their job increases.
Being real or genuine is being a role model (or is that a real-model?) of the highest order. What I’ve noticed is many adults are happy to share of themselves in areas they’ve mastered, yet are afraid to admit when they don’t know something. They think others will judge them if they admit they are still learning in some aspect of their job. What’s wrong with saying I don’t know, or I’m still learning? That reminds me of a line from an Elton John song; I’m still standing after all this time. How about changing that to; I’m still learning after all this time!
Real-model leaders aren’t afraid to say they’re still learning or discovering new things about their job. The most impactful leaders are real human beings, who are also willing to say I was wrong or I’m sorry.
Empowering Phrases
The key is the language we use to describe ourselves as a learner. Below are some empowering phrases that allow you to be a real-model and lead the way;
- I’m really curious about that subject and would like to know more.
- I’m in the process of upgrading my skills in that area.
- I’m currently adding [coaching] to my skillset and am actively looking to practice those skills.
- I’m not sure what the answer to that is; how about I come back to you in the next [two hours/two days] with some thoughts?
- I don’t know, but am happy to do some research on that topic.
Leadership isn’t the exclusive realm of a few people in certain positions. Every person, no matter what position, can be a leader by going beyond a role model to being a real-model.
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